Episode Summary
Julie Lythcott-Haims reading from Tara Westover’s Educated and discussing the emotional suffering that follows shame and following the crowd to fit in.
Have I ever been embarrassed by some of the things I’ve done in the past? Endlessly. Have I ever been ashamed of things I’ve done? I have. But have I ever felt ashamed of myself on the basis of being me? Have I felt ashamed of myself for not fitting in because of some ‘unlucky’ so-called roll of the DNA dice? No, I have not. It turns out, this is privilege. Julie Lythcott-Haims, speaker, activist and author of “Your Turn: How to be an Adult”, shares her experience growing up and living as a black and biracial woman and the struggle she faced in managing shame, and between conformity and being herself.
Julie reads two pages from ‘Educated’ by Tara Westover. [reading begins at 11:18]
Hear us talk about:
- Julie’s experience of finding her identity and how she harnessed this experience: ‘We must unburden ourselves from the shame installed in us by the opinions of others.’ [20:40]
- How to stop seeking conformity and living to please others. [22:47]
- How to find your own voice: ‘Our doubtful feelings are just as much substantial proof of us being miserable as our bodies breaking down from stress.’ [27:52]
- Differentiating which challenges make you stronger and which ones will make you miserable. [33:02]
- What it means to be an activist. [36:21]
- Moving from fear to love – What keeps us stuck in fear? [39:06]
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RESOURCES:
Julie Lythcott-Haims | Website | Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram
Julie’s book: Your Turn: How to Be an Adult
Tara Westover | Educated
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